Within the Hidden Leaf Village is the famous Mount Hokage.
The face of each Hokage has been painstakingly carved into the cliff side.
And here is the Fifth Hokage, Tsunade!
Let's go, Shizune.
Yes, Lady Tsunade.
Dice House
Hello, boys.
I came to play.
Even Hokages Go Bald
Today we're training with ninja tools.
Tools?
Nunchaku
Yup!
T-These are...
N-Nunchaku...
Re-rolling a scroll is such a pain.
Hey, Tenten.
Huh?
Are you bad with nunchaku, Lee?
No...
I'm psyched!
Wow, you rock!
Duck!
Are you insane?!
You just turned the carving of Lady Tsunade bald!
I'm sorry!
Move it, Lee!
We've gotta get it back to normal!
Can we get my face back to normal, too,
when we're finished?
Tenten's a totally different person when the subject turns to Lady Tsunade...
So that's Tsunade, the Fifth Hokage, huh?
We'll sniff her out, then snuff her out!
Who are they?!
We've gotta warn Lady Tsunade!
Big Time Dice House
I roll first.
Here goes!
Three and four, that's seven!
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
"Run the three-legged race with your kids at a sports meet.
Lose a turn for using up too much chakra."
Shoot!
Now it's my roll.
Double sixes!
Ten, eleven, twelve.
"Arranged marriage to an Arabian oil tycoon.
As a present, receive as many oil fields as are shown on the dice."
Yes! I get twelve oil fields!
What?!
Lady Tsunade's known in gambling circles as the "Legendary Sucker,"
but she's cleaning up today.
I've got a bad feeling about this.
Mount Fuji, a hawk, and an eggplant?
No Cheating
What the heck?!
Guy?!
Back Door
There are rogue ninjas targeting me?
Yes, ma'am.
Team Guy rushed here to protect you,
so we had to grab the only disguises we had handy.
I understand you were in a rush, but those?
Mountains...
We heard you were in Tanzakugai,
so we put on costumes that would bring good luck.
But why am I the eggplant?
Lady Tsunade, um... I got this for you.
A good luck charm?
Much appreciated.
You're worked up, too, aren't you, Tenten?
Of course.
I've always admired Lady Tsunade's strength.
But...
I did it, Master!
Well done, Sakura.
Since I can't use medical ninjutsu,
I couldn't become her student,
and I don't feel like I've earned her respect.
Today is my big chance!
Well done, Lee!
I know exactly how you feel!
You do?
I'll give it my all on this mission, too!
Lady Tsunade, we'll escort you back to the village.
Hold it, you!
You think you're just gonna hit it big and leave?
The party's not over.
Bring it on.
Big Time Dice House
Time to play some cards!
It doesn't matter. Lady Luck's on my side today!
Maybe this one?
Ah, the old maid!
Are you sure it's okay for us to play, too, Guy Sensei?
It's part of guarding Lady Tsunade, we've got no choice.
But it's our first time in Tanzakugai.
We don't even know the rules.
The rules for Old Maid are simple.
Whoever has the old maid at the end loses.
Byakugan!
It's the one on the far right!
Not the literal old maid!
Actually, technically speaking,
Lady Tsunade's a spinster, too.
I've been told that despite her youthful looks, she's really in her fifties.
Shut your big mouth!
Okay, sure, maybe she's faking her looks,
but these days fifty-three is still plenty young!
Excuse me for being a fake!
I-I'm sorry Lady Tsunade! I didn't mean—
Well, if she's not a spinster, then...
She's not a wrestler either!
Is that Tsunade?
She's not bald, though.
They say Tsunade's a master of medial ninjutsu, you know.
Let's see if it's true.
How?
Leave it to me. I've got a plan.
Excuse me!
Please, is there a doctor in the house?
Is someone sick?
I guess it happens, even in anime.
Fine, I—
Yes, I'm a doctor!
Huh?
We're hosed.
Nuts...
I'll just have to be more direct.
Excuse me!
Please, is there anyone who's bald in here?
That would be me!
You are?
I really should apologize.
Things moved so fast,
I didn't have time to get a real hawk outfit.
This is actually supposed to be a vulture.
But who knew it would actually save the day?
No good. That nutjob's ruining it!
No, we can't give up yet.
There's still one last option.
They say the real Tsunade's bust measurement is over 100 centimeters!
Excuse me!
Is there anyone in here with a bust measurement over 100 centimeters?
Right here.
It's actually over 120—
That's not your bust!
See? We're toast!
I'm not done yet!
Excuse me!
Is there anyone in here wearing a lot of makeup,
but is really something else on the inside?
Ooh, that's gotta be me!
Snow white makeup.
What is wrong with you?!
Your stupid indirect blathering's just getting worse!
O-Okay...
Fine...
Excuse me!
Is there anyone in here who's very violent, loves to gamble, has no luck with men,
is having trouble hiding all their new wrinkles and sagging skin,
and is over fifty-three and still single?!
Enough already!
Hold it, hold it, hold it!
Trying to win and run, huh?
I don't think so!
Watch out!
Don't worry.
We got them all.
L-Lady Tsunade...
What's your problem?!
No way...
All the kunai we deflected landed right on her head.
Lady Tsunade, get outside!
Take them out.
Wait!
Leaf Rising Wind!
You're safe now!
We kicked them all away!
L-Lady Tsunade!
No way...
All the guys we kicked landed right on her head!
You'd better not be doing this on purpose!
Stinkin' punks!
You need to knock them away from her!
Eight Trigrams Rotation!
She's gone bald!
B-But...
Now she looks just like the rock carving we messed up.
Everything's fine!
Oh, yeah.
No, it's not!
So she's Tsunade after all.
Now's our chance.
Yeah.
Lady Tsunade!
Shoot!
W-Whoa!
Her good luck charm shot at us!
Weapon summoning.
I put a special stamp on the charm I gave her that can shoot out weapons.
I...
I have to protect Lady Tsunade!
Ultra Divine Blade Storm!
Goodbye!
Um, Lady Tsunade...
I'm so sorry. We completely failed to protect you.
Tenten.
No matter how mad she is, I have to accept my punishment.
You really came through for me.
Thanks to you, we got rid of those rogue ninjas.
Great work, Tenten.
Yes! Lady Tsunade's proud of me!
And Guy, Lee, Neji...
You three did a lot, too.
Don't mention it!
I think you all deserve a special reward!
Uh oh!
Thankfully, no one was seriously injured.
Farewell, fragile youth...
A back-alley casino in Tanzakugai.
And within, a persistent gambler.
Red 25, right hand.
Yellow 7, tongue.
Wait, it's Twister?!
I'm finished!
You thought you could beat me at roulette?
I'm chakra-ing out.
That's three million chakra and two chocolates.
You really cleaned up, Lord Orochimaru.
It must be the snakeskin wallet I bought off the shopping channel.
They said it would bring good luck.
What are you going to do with all that chakra?
What do you think?
I'll use it all...
Orochimaru is Persistent
Another day of ninja tool training.
Chain Sickle
Hey, where's Lee?
Lee's off to repair the damage he did to Lady Tsunade's rock carving.
Is he gonna be okay on his own?
That's a pompadour!
What was he thinking?!
Hey, Lee!
Why does Lady Tsunade have a pompadour now?!
Sorry!
I'm trying, but I'm not very good at this!
Sadako?!
Ringlets?
Back to bald...
Why? Why won't my fingers listen to my brain?!
How clumsy can you be?!
Let me handle this.
It'll be a lot easier if we plant trees for her hair,
instead of carving the rock!
I never would've thought of that!
Now it's a topknot!
She's right, we'll need to plant more.
I kinda like it, though.
An afro's no better!
Not a problem.
Just a little off the top!
Now it's just a buzz cut...
Just stop already!
What's that?!
What?
The forest is so full of life.
This isn't the time for bird watching!
Exactly!
Lady Tsunade!
I can't trust any of you to fix this.
I'll do it myself!
Who is that?
T-That's—
I can't think...
...of a good joke!
You don't need a joke!
You should be falling over in terror!
I've summoned Manda with the chakra I won in Tanzakugai,
and now I'm going to wipe out the Leaf Village.
What a persistent man.
I'll handle him!
Count me in!
Summoning Jutsu!
The village is in danger.
This may end up being a grueling battle.
I try to avoid pointless fighting as much as possible,
but if it's to protect the village, I've no choice!
You're all in danger, please retreat—
Katsuyu!
I guess the Boss was hungry.
They all saved Katsuyu later.
Why did you even summon him?!
It's up to me now.
Can you use summons even if you can't use ninjutsu, Lee?
Trust me!
Summoning Jutsu!
Why me?
What am I saying?! Of course you can't!
Especially not against that giant serpent!
Well, this was the biggest costume I had...
But don't worry!
Mr. Cameraman, zoom in until Tenten's out of shot, please!
If we just use the right angle...
Camera tricks?!
It's an optical illusion accomplished with perspective!
That doesn't work with anime!
Lady Tsunade!
So...
Who's next?
It's working!
Last week's failures seem like a bad dream now!
Lord Orochimaru is completely different this week.
But does it make for a good episode?
Shouldn't it be funnier or more light-hearted?!
Granny Tsunade, we gotta get out quick or we're in deep trouble!
Light!
Oh, you two were swallowed, as well?
Guy?
What're you doing here?
I was training up on the mountain.
Today, I will sing without disturbing the candle's flame.
What kind of training is that?
Instead of not disturbing the candle,
both it and myself were slurped up whole!
Seriously, what kind of training is that?!
What're we gonna do, Lee?
Don't worry. I've got an idea.
I'll feed him this super-spicy curry.
And then...
Here goes!
What happened?
Byakugan!
So spicy!
But so good!
Guy Sensei's eating it.
This is no time for dinner!
There's no need to fret.
I secretly developed a technique in case something like this ever happened,
and now it's time to test it.
What do you mean, it?
Who're you talking to?!
What's the matter?
If you want to stop me, turn around and fight!
Yeah, this is a little too much for this series.
We should shift back toward comedy.
Then again...
It's useless. We can't fight him!
We were fighting?
I thought we were just running...
Hey, is there an extra face on the mountain?
Huh?
One, two, three, four, five, six...
Number six is Guy Sensei!
Wait, maybe, just maybe...
It's the giant robot Guy Sensei built for emergencies like this!
The giant robot,
Might Guygatron!
Might Guygatron?!
Fight on, Might Guygatron!
Yeah, take him down!
Hmph, just a giant doll.
We'll control it with chakra threads!
Focus, focus, focus!
Ha!
Neji, take the right half.
Tenten, get the left.
What about you Lee?
I'll control the eyebrows!
Why the eyebrows?!
Is that piano wire?
Let's go, team!
Huh?
Super Attack!
Robo-Sexy Jutsu!
It's showtime!
Giant robots don't need to do that!
Tee-hee...
How dare you think I'd fall for that?!
Ouch...
Ow, ow, ow!
You think yourself a match for me?
If the Robo-Sexy Jutsu didn't work,
then we've only got one option.
Is that move really all we've got left?
Can we do it with a robot?
We've gotta try.
W-What?
How can you still stand?
Three!
Two!
One!
You're finished!
Shimura Style,
Wow-Wing!
No, it is I who am finished!
It's better this way.
Yes...
And so, the Leaf Village was saved.
Justice prevails!
Everyone came out safe and sound,
and they lived happily ever after.
No, no, and no!
Hey, who's voice is that you hear after our gags?
You don't know either, Tenten?
I'm the nice fellow narrating this fine show.
So please, get on with the preview.
What's your name?
It doesn't matter, just—
What're your hobbies? Height? Blood type?
Say the titles for the next episode, you morons!
N-Next week is "Hinata is Neji's Cousin,"
Hinata is Neji's Cousin Hinata's Weak Point is Naruto
and "Hinata's Weak Point is Naruto."
Very good.
He's scary...